We often think that an anxious child will be passive, meek and compliant. But nothing could be further from the truth. A child when fearful or anxious can express that as anger. They may also become angry with us when we don't give them the support they want to deal with the thing that causes them anxiety . For example, if they are scared of spiders and we don't remove the spider.
But......
By removing the spider for them, we are providing a number of unspoken messages:
Therein lies some problems:
Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Centre has adapted Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) to create a programme for parents of children with anxiety.
SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is a parent-based treatment for childhood and adolescent anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder that has been found to be as efficacious as individual cognitive-behavioural therapy.
If you are interested in this option to address anxiety, alongside aggression and other challenging behaviour with NVR then do contact me. 0203 553 1060, gill@stressedparent.co.uk
I would go so far as to suggest that most children who are adopted, fostered or with special guardians will have anxiety. Whilst we cannot stop an anxious child from being anxious, we can empower them to manage their anxiety and lead a life where they will not be crippled by it.
Eli Lebowitz, has written this book which is a really easy and useful read, especially if you have some knowledge of NVR.
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