Have you heard about Pavlov's dogs? He used to have a laboratory full of dogs, and he would ring a bell and give the dogs food. And he would do it so many times so that eventually the dogs associated the bell ringing with the food. And so one day, he didn't have any food in his laboratory, he rang the bell, and the dogs started to salivate.
I think that's what our children are, like, you know, over time, over time, they've learned that their challenging behaviours can bring results. Yes, if they tantrum enough, mum will give in. If they shout and throw, dad will acquiesce. You're just going for the quiet life. If they dictate terms - they will do their homework if you give them their pocket money now. You know or whatever it is, whatever you're on the receiving end of, just like Pavlov's dogs who learnt to associate bells and food, we can start to deprogram our children, to unlearn that the tantrumming behaviour brings in the sweeties, yes, or whatever it is.
My name is Gill Tree, I own a company called Stressed Parent, having been a stress parent myself. And I run a program called Nonviolent Resistance, which really helps you learn how to train your child to behave more appropriately. It doesn't take long, maybe two or three months. We can't do it in one fell swoop, but we can do it bit by bit. Tiny little piece after tiny little piece over time, we can see those changes. I've worked with many, many parents. It's worked in my own family which is why I'm so passionate about it and I'd love to help it work in yours. Go to stressededparent.co.uk and have a look at some of my free eBooks and some of my free trials to my ecourses. I look forward to seeing you there.
"It has helped me gain perspective on my stresses and stressors and helped validate how essential it is for me to look after myself and to be able to start the discussion with my husband. We have talked about an actual action plan, starting with some quick fixes and then to move on to more substantial lifestyle changes that will help me be a less stressed parent."
- Julinie Mohamad Nasir -
Member of the International Stress Management Association
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